dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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