I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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