I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
