but the lizard people decide everything anyway
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
