foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
