yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize