All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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