is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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