I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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