i already hear my dad disowning me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
