Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
