I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
