And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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