I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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