I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Boobs speak an international language.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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