I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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