Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
