I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
