Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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