I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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