You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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