i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
