plz talk dirty to me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
