my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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