I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
