it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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