i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
