i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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