:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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