Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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