Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's shark week go big or go home
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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