You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my sisters under your porch take her home
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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