he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
