How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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