I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
