What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Let's get the cat blown out
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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