After last night, I could never be a politician.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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