im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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