I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
