So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
