just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
