Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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