I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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