This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
