I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize