I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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