She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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