I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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