I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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