What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
