i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
