do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
