are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
