umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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