it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
