the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
