morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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