69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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