guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
